So just about when the kids boomerang back after college (“just until the economy picks up and I can find a real job, and doesn’t it make more sense, Mom, for me to live here for awhile and save money rather than throw it away on rent?”), your mom falls or starts forgetting to lock the doors or take her prescriptions. Next thing you know, Mom’s in a bed in the dining room (since you don’t have a main floor master bedroom and she can’t climb stairs) and you’re building walls where you use to have that open floor plan. Welcome to the sandwich generation, where you’re the bologna (photo from the McNally Family Album blog).
* This is just one of those things that is what it is. The best way to deal with it? Get everyone as comfortable as possible. Establish privacy parameters and helping-out expectations. Work out the money arrangement. Be grateful for your family, and for your ability either financially or emotionally to handle this role. (It always falls to one adult child–if it’s you, see if your other siblings can kick in with money, with taking Mom to appointments if they live nearby or having Mom visit for a week or two each year if they live far away).
* Now, let’s get practical. Add safety bars and seats to showers. Change the door knobs to handles. Add lighting just about everywhere, inside and out. Make your interior wheelchair-accessible, if necessary. Add a ramp, or at least handrails, outside. I love how this ramp is designed to integrate with the style of the house and actually looks porch-like. Check for trip hazards. Establish an easy-to-access, uncluttered spot for your parent’s medication and other medical necessities. Designating a bathroom just for Mom isn’t a bad idea, too, if you can. There will come a time when this lovely item will appear in your home, and it’s best to not have to move it on and off. 
* Give your parent space to pursue a beloved hobby. If your dad likes to tinker in a workshop, give him a corner of the garage, if it is safe to do so. (How sweet is this sign?!) If Mom likes to water flowers or play the piano, find a way to let her continue that hobby.
*Have some fun. Bring back game night. Watch old movies together. Make special meals more often. Do your nails together, for goodness sake (photo from this article about the sandwich generation). Let go of past grudges. Enjoy this stage with your aging parent, and encourage your children to do so as well. 
Go to Kudzu for service companies that can help adapt your home and make it as comfortable and safe as possible for your family’s changing needs. Oh, and, of course, happy Mother’s Day to you and yours.
